So in our little village where Turn The Tide works, there are these children who have no parents, and there are these widows and older women who have no children.
Hmmm. Orphans and widows. It has a bit of a familiar ring to it, doesn’t it? As in words from the Bible, telling us to care for each of these needy groups?
What to do? With few funds but a lot of creative thinking, we decided to try out matching an older woman/widow who was alone with each of our child-headed households. The widow would be provided with food and some sustenance themselves, and they would be responsible for being mentors to the children, popping in regularly to see if everything is alright; offering a listening ear and advice. It seemed like a good plan - putting needy hearts in one another’s arms.
Fagesi Sandalamu is one of those older women without a husband or family to help take care of her. She was born in 1953. She is not quite sure of the day or month, but she remembers she was born on a Monday.
Monday’s child, the old nursery rhyme tells us, is fair of face.
And even at age 61, Fagesi’s face is smooth, clear and lovely.
There was a lot of bloodshed in Malawi at that time. 1953 was at the heart of the long war for independance in Malawi - then known as Nyasaland and ruled by the British. The country was in turmoil.
There was a lot of unloveliness in Fagesi’s family when she was born. They lived in the bush, and Fagesi was the second of 10 children born by one of the many wives of her father. It has been estimated that nearly one in five women in Malawi live in polygamous relationships.
There was unloveliness in how Fagesi was treated. The lot of a woman is a difficult one in a polygamous family, but the lot of a woman born lame is almost unimaginably harsh. Marginalized and without much value to her family, Fagesi depended on her mother.
When her mother died of cerebral malaria, Fagesi learned to depend on the small handouts from her father and brothers and sisters.
“I could not do a lot on my own to earn a living because I am disabled,” she explains.
“Some relief showered on my life when I was 33 and a missionary helped me, and taught me sewing and then gave me my own machine.”
Life improved for her over the next 17 years as she became quite an accomplished tailor. But then, her Father died, and one by one, her siblings got ill and died also. “This is one of my most evil memories,” she says, “because I was directly helped by them.” She was forced to sell the sewing machine to for funds to help her take care of her sibling’s children and grandchildren.
Some of Turn The Tide’s Board members in the village spoke with Fagesi to see how the program is working for her.
“My life has been so challenging, …. with the coming of (Turn The Tide), …I can see tomorrow. We would like to appreciate all (you) are doing for us and pray for more of (your) presence and support.”
Well, Fagesi, we appreciate you too.
And with God’s help, you just may start seeing more of our presence there too - but that’s for another exciting blog post!
