Afterall, they'd get two or three square meals a day at an orphanage without having to scrape the floor for the market for it, wouldn't they?
They could go to school.
They'd get clothes.
Medical attention when they needed it.
Wouldn't they?
Perhaps. And perhaps not.
I have asked myself the same questions. Why give these kids what will only empower them to be mini-adults instead of letting them just be kids and making a way for someone else be the adult in their lives? Why let them have this responsibility when they don't have to?
I know. I know. I wish that I could read each one of these kids a story every night and tuck them into bed. Or have someone else tuck them into bed. And have someone else make the hard decisions for them. I wish with all my heart they could be just kids. And that they could be loved and cherished and valued for who they are.
The hard truth, in Africa at least, is that not all is as it is supposed to be. Not all orphanages do as you would hope they do. Not all homes for kids with no homes are better than nothing.
On my last visit to Malawi, this very matter was settled in my mind with great conviction. There are many, many orphans in the area around Sorgen, where we focus our work. In fact, my first port of call in any visit is to the Good News Children's Home. It's where I stay while I visit.
- Turn The Tide children look both cleaner and healthier than the children living in the orphanage.
- Their clothing is not perfect, but they are not wearing rags like some of the children I see at the orphanage. It is heartbreaking to see children wearing clothes that are more holes than clothes.
- The children we support and who are staying in their own homes have their own space; their own sense of belonging to something and they are part of their community. Children in the orphanage belong to no one and have nothing that is their own. Even the connection with family they may have had in the past is taken from them. We all need to belong and to know where we come from. This identity, I believe, remains intact through our support of these children.
Turn The Tide children also maintain contact with family, however distant, when they live in their own homes. Grandparents who may be too frail to take full responsibility for day-to-day care of children still may visit. If these children were in an orphanage, these visits almost certainly would not take place, and that connection would be lost.
My concern for our children, however, was that Turn The Tide address the need for not only their day-to-day supplies, but their day-to-day supervision.
I wanted to find a way where a responsible adult could assist our children with daily chores, with emotional support, and with the necessary encouragement to attend school. There are almost as many elderly widows in this community as there are orphans. I'll put it this way: the reason has something to do with low expectations of the faithfulness of men/husbands, and the consequences of their choices, resulting in shorter lifespans.
Knowing this, I put forward the idea to our active board in the area to attach a vulnerable widow or grandmother from the community to each of the child-headed families. This would allow both children and the widows to be physically supported with necessities, and hopefully, their relationships would develop into emotionally mutually supportive ones.
It's not a science, this thing of helping orphans and widows. It's not. Although I have "studied" it in one sense through my masters degree, there are so many variables in our one town in Malawi alone that at times, you have to throw away the books and simply try to be as creative as the situation requires.
The need is so huge it overwhelms me many times. But you know what, for these "ones", we have made a difference, you and I. And for that, I am so grateful.
